the right decision

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No matter how painful your decision has been, as long as you can sleep well at night, it means that you made the right decision.

Keep Alive your Gut or Intuition Feeling

Have you ever been in a situation where your “gut feeling” told you one thing, but your rational mind said another? If you went with your brain rather than your intuition, there’s a good chance you ended up regretting your decision. Your intuition is the subconscious leader that many people fail to give proper respect to. But learning to listen to this internal compass could help you make better decisions and live a more fulfilling life.

“I define intuition as the subtle knowing without ever having any idea why you know it,” explains Sophy Burnham, bestselling author of The Art of Intuition, to The Huffington Post. “It’s different from thinking, it’s different from logic or analysis … It’s a knowing without knowing.”

It’s unconscious reasoning, the guidance that compels you to turn left when all signs may be pointing right. It’s often the whisper inside that can lead you to the best results possible, if you will just learn to let go and give it a chance.

Intuition is commonly associated with New Age mysticism or a metaphysical way of thinking, but it doesn’t have to be so. Our intuition was here long before anyone even gave a word to it, and it will be here long after other fad words expire.

“There is a growing body of anecdotal evidence, combined with solid research efforts, that suggests intuition is a critical aspect of how we humans interact with our environment and how, ultimately, we make many of our decisions,” said Ivy Estabrooke of the Office of Naval Research, who is investigating the power of intuition which has helped troops make important and quick decisions during combat.

Whether it’s deciding which job to take, which direction to turn when you’re lost, or how to handle a conflict in your family, intuition sometimes knows better than the rational mind. The problem is that many of us have buried that little voice so deeply within, we have a hard time hearing or feeling where it is guiding us.

The good news is that your intuition is still there, you merely have to learn to hear it again.

To better listen to your intuition, try:

1. Meditation: Spend time in silence, simply listening.
2. Commune with nature: Aim to get at least sometime outside every single day.
3. Creativity: Tap into your internal artist by drawing, writing, painting, or making music.
4. Learn to listen: In general, listen to friends, families, silence, and yourself.
5. Be body conscious: Learn to appreciate the little signs and signals from your body, when it tells you it’s tired, joyful, in need of love, or getting sick.
6. Let go: Warm up to the idea that you don’t have to control everything. Life is going to happen whether you overthink it or not. Relax.
7. Stay positive: A 2013 study in the journal Psychological Science found that being in a good mood boosted participant’s abilities to make intuitive calls in a word game. So smile!

Working on becoming more intuitive requires you to adopt healthier habits and a healthier mindset. These are things that are good for your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing, no matter your end goal. And if cultivated regularly, they could lend themselves to better decision making and more happiness overall.

Credits: Elizabeth Renter of naturalsociety.com, where this was originally featured.

विचार प्रदूषण

निस्संदेह आज प्रदूषण मानव जाति के लिए सबसे बड़ा खतरा बन चुका है। लेकिन पर्यावरण में होने वाले इस प्रदूषण के अलावा, एक और प्रदूषण हमारे चारों ओर फैल रहा है। यह है विचारों का प्रदूषण। कुछ चिकित्सा विशेषज्ञों के अनुसार, मानव मस्तिष्क में प्रति मिनट तकरीबन 40 विचार उत्पन्न होते हैं, यानी 2,400 विचार प्रति घंटा। ऐसे हालात में हमें ‘असीमित विचारों और सीमित समाधान’ जैसी असामान्य समस्या का सामना करना पड़ता है, जिसकी वजह से अधिकांश लोग तनाव और चिंता के शिकार बन जाते हैं। तो क्या इसका अर्थ यह हुआ कि हमारे विचार हमारे मन के अंदर भीड़ बढ़ा रहे हैं? क्या इस समस्या से उबरने के लिए हम केवल ऐसे विचार नहीं रख सकते, जो हमारे मन में सद्भाव व खुली जगह बनाएं? जितना हम अपने विचारों की गुणवत्ता में सुधार लाएंगे, उतना हमारे मन के भीतर शुद्धता और सौहार्द का निर्माण होगा। इस कठिन लक्ष्य को ‘राजयोग’ की सरल तकनीक से प्राप्त किया जा सकता है। राजयोग एक ऐसी क्रिया है, जो हमें न्यूनतम अव्यवस्था के साथ जीना सिखाती है, जिससे जीवन में हमें अधिक से अधिक शांति की अनुभूति होती है। यदि हम अपने मन को ‘सीमित संसाधनों के साथ’ जीने के लिए राजी कर लें, तो फिर दुनिया की कोई भी चीज हमें परेशान नहीं कर सकती।
हमारा उद्देश्य अपने विचारों को दबाने का नहीं होना चाहिए, बल्कि हमें धीरे-धीरे और स्वाभाविक रूप से अनावश्यक व व्यर्थ विचारों से खुद को मुक्त करके अपने मन को सांस लेने की खुली जगह देनी है। इस भागती-दौड़ती जिंदगी में ये सारी बातें हमें थोड़ी अवास्तविक और अपनी पहुंच से बाहर लगेंगी, परंतु हमारे विचारों की सादगी हमारे जीवन में दृढ़ता और स्पष्टता लाएगी, जिससे समाधान के अनेक दरवाजे खुल जाएंगे। तो चलिए आज से विचार प्रदूषण में कमी लाने का श्रेष्ठ कार्य करें।

Self-belief checklist

Self-confident people have indestructible self-belief, nothing can take away their feeling of self-worth and they bounce back again and again. You can feel like this. You have all that it takes to go for what you want and to ride the ups and downs that life inevitably brings. No one has a smooth trip but just think how you will feel if you don’t even give yourself a chance to get out there and give things a try!

Self-belief checklist

A person with self-belief:

• Never compares herself with others.
• Knows that she is her own woman and that nobody else can understand her as well as she can.

• Listens to helpful advice and comments but never blindly follows others’ opinions.
• Trusts her instincts and listens to her heart.
• Recognises that she will make mistakes and learns from them and moves on.

• Depends upon her own judgement and always gives herself time to work things through.
• Values rest and relaxation as much as action planning and activity.
• Knows that when she is calm and focused she will make the best decisions.

• Accepts that there will be days when her self-belief is not so strong and will wait until she is feeling more positive before committing herself to any course of action.

When you are high in self-belief you will trust your own thoughts and feelings and will be able to follow through with appropriate action.

Don’t give your all when in any relationship

A healthy relationship is about give and give, not give and take. It’s not even 50/50, it’s more like 100/100. There is no “part time” relationship, you’re either in…or you’re out.

But sometimes, our judgment gets clouded. We really care about the person we’re with so we’re willing to do everything for them. The difference between being part of a solid relationship and being a doormat, is if they’re willing to do the same for you in return (without you asking for it).

So, how do you know when you’re giving too much? When is enough…enough?

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You’re smiling less when you’re alone.

The one person you can’t hide your feelings from, is yourself. It’s easy to convince those around us that we’re happy with the situation we’re in and with our partner. Of course no relationship is 100% perfect, but if you begin to feel down when they’re not around (and not because you’re missing them), this could be a sign of your true feelings coming to the surface.

The only way to lead a happy, fulfilling life is to first be true to yourself and what you want and need.

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You’re even asking yourself this question in the first place.

I recently received a message on Facebook that went as follows:

Personally I’m going through an episode where she is feeling out or dating other guys because they deserve a “chance.” But my opinion is that although I care for you and you know it without a shadow of a doubt, that if you have to continue to search after 3 months of countless dates and hanging out, then you’re not searching for me and you’re willing to forego what’s in front of you for what’s in the mystery box.

I believe that as difficult as it is for us to sift through our own emotions at times, it is an integral part of a happy life and relationship. We are the only ones who truly know what we’re feeling inside our own heart and mind, and if you find hesitancy like this poking through your consciousness, it’s probably a red flag.

Reciprocity is key, and if you’re questioning whether or not your partner is putting in their best effort, the answer is probably no.

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You feel emotionally exhausted.

A solid relationship should enhance your life, not complicate your life. You should feel energized by the other persons’ presence in your life. Inspired. Motivated. Excited.

If you are mentally and emotionally drained, you may be sacrificing your own well-being for the sake of an unhealthy relationship.

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You’re losing sight of you.

Do you feel like more of a servant than a partner? If you are always working to make your partner happy but rarely or never see the effort reciprocated, it’s very easy to lose sight of your own wants and needs because you’ve become too caught up in theirs.

Anyone who reads my articles knows that I am all for being loving and giving at all stages of a relationship, but it’s important to make sure that it goes both ways.

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There would be voids if it wasn’t for you.

Voids in things to do together, voids in physical intimacy, voids in conversation.

If you are always the one who is suggesting activities, initiating physical contact, or taking care of things around the house – then you probably already realize that you’re carrying the relationship and giving too much of yourself away.

Happy, healthy relationships are a team – and like any good team, each player has their strengths which fit together like puzzle pieces with the other players to create a strong partnership. If one player doesn’t carry their weight, the team will lose.

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You jumped into commitment before they were ready.

When I met my girlfriend, I knew basically immediately that I was no longer interested in talking to any other women – but I also knew this feeling had to be mutual and we needed to let the first few dates take their course to see if the luster would last (it did, thankfully).

I’ve seen, many a time, people dive head first into a relationship with someone, swear off all other members of the opposite sex right away, and end up hurt. They think that giving their entire being to the other person will make them return the sentiment and love. It doesn’t. It needs to come naturally from both sides.

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You worry about losing them and keep trying harder.

If we begin to feel someone slowly slipping away from us, some of us may find it natural to try harder and to put more effort in to keep them around. Often times this does the exact opposite and pushes them away.

This is where it’s key for the relationship to have healthy communication. Taking guesses at what might “fix” a problem is simply a band-aid solution. If something is wrong, we need to have the maturity and discipline to discuss it, no matter how difficult it may be.

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While relationships do often take work, they shouldn’t feel like work. If your interactions with your partner are forced and don’t feel natural or fulfilling, then this is an instinct that shouldn’t be ignored.

Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t appreciate you. Value your time, your body, and most of all – your heart. Stop giving these things to people who don’t deserve them.

There will be someone who comes along and accepts you for you – if you have the discipline to only accept the love you truly deserve.

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Source:
7 Signs You’re Giving Too Much
by jamesmsama

If you’re going to fall in love

If you’re going to fall in love –
Don’t fall for the decorated “Me.”
That I prepare every morning
To face the world, to survive another day.
A fake smile, a white shirt, jeans and cologne.
Don’t fall in love with that false persona
That I carry to impress, to climb
The steps of achievement they’ve defined for me.
I’m not exactly the spring you’ve waited for.
I can be the deadly summer.
If you’re going to fall in love –
Fall for my weaknesses.
My jealousy, my impatience, my indecision.
My moods, my resistance, my numbness.
My inner child that seeks attention.
who can be restless – giving you a hard time.
Love me, for them if you can.
I’m not exactly the spring you’ve waited for.
I can be the dry Winter.
Fall in love with the wall I create.
From a self-perceived maturity and melancholy.
Fall in love with my scars, my wounds, the blood stains.
All the under-achievements, all the complexities.
That make me – imperfect. That make me – “me.”
Love me, for them if you can.
If you’re going to fall for me,
Fall in love with every fragment of me.
Decent, wicked, ugly, glorious – I’m a little bit of all.
Fall in love with my shortcomings, my sleepless nights,
My journey to madness – my write ups.
If you can- fall in love with the naked me.
Real, unpretentious, raw.
Or my dear, don’t love me at all.
Copyright: ©Suman Bhattacharya, 2014
Suman Bhattacharya
Author, Error Code Love