Sometimes you h…

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Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend.

What’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not- won’t.

Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you.

— Unknown

Flashy Film Review: Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (2006)

Hey you wonderful guys and girls out there, I guess, you are doing okay and so today I am back with a movie that I guess I can never forget in my lifetime, a movie that is a masterpiece when it comes to relationships, a movie that introduced me to the world of movies, a movie that made me realized that even movies can be too close to life. I guess if you’re familiar with bollywood or Indian movies, you have definitely not skipped this movie.

Its story of 6 or 7 individuals who grow up in different circumstances and have totally different approaches towards life and whatever the way you call it are in wrong relationships and the movie depicts how circumstances make them meet and understand each other and prompts them to break the marriages they have lived for whole life.

Coming to technical points, acting is just better than average, don’t expect even the greatest bollywood standards but still the story and events and the depth of relationships make it a kinda must watch movie. Songs are decent and again real life kind of and briefly it touches the issues of parenting as well.

Verdict: 4.5 Stars and Flashy Movie Batch. ( 1 star extra for personal connections to this movie).

NOTE: All my reviews are available at https://rastogisaurab29.wordpress.com/category/tv-and-movies/movie-reviews/
OR http://www.imdb.com/user/ur39556023/comments?order=date

Flashy Film

Usually when time or schedule does not allow, I write about some film of immense importance and categorizes it as Flashy Film. All the flashy titles are available under the https://rastogisaurab29.wordpress.com/category/tv-and-movies/flashy-film/

 

 

Don’t give your all when in any relationship

A healthy relationship is about give and give, not give and take. It’s not even 50/50, it’s more like 100/100. There is no “part time” relationship, you’re either in…or you’re out.

But sometimes, our judgment gets clouded. We really care about the person we’re with so we’re willing to do everything for them. The difference between being part of a solid relationship and being a doormat, is if they’re willing to do the same for you in return (without you asking for it).

So, how do you know when you’re giving too much? When is enough…enough?

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You’re smiling less when you’re alone.

The one person you can’t hide your feelings from, is yourself. It’s easy to convince those around us that we’re happy with the situation we’re in and with our partner. Of course no relationship is 100% perfect, but if you begin to feel down when they’re not around (and not because you’re missing them), this could be a sign of your true feelings coming to the surface.

The only way to lead a happy, fulfilling life is to first be true to yourself and what you want and need.

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You’re even asking yourself this question in the first place.

I recently received a message on Facebook that went as follows:

Personally I’m going through an episode where she is feeling out or dating other guys because they deserve a “chance.” But my opinion is that although I care for you and you know it without a shadow of a doubt, that if you have to continue to search after 3 months of countless dates and hanging out, then you’re not searching for me and you’re willing to forego what’s in front of you for what’s in the mystery box.

I believe that as difficult as it is for us to sift through our own emotions at times, it is an integral part of a happy life and relationship. We are the only ones who truly know what we’re feeling inside our own heart and mind, and if you find hesitancy like this poking through your consciousness, it’s probably a red flag.

Reciprocity is key, and if you’re questioning whether or not your partner is putting in their best effort, the answer is probably no.

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You feel emotionally exhausted.

A solid relationship should enhance your life, not complicate your life. You should feel energized by the other persons’ presence in your life. Inspired. Motivated. Excited.

If you are mentally and emotionally drained, you may be sacrificing your own well-being for the sake of an unhealthy relationship.

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You’re losing sight of you.

Do you feel like more of a servant than a partner? If you are always working to make your partner happy but rarely or never see the effort reciprocated, it’s very easy to lose sight of your own wants and needs because you’ve become too caught up in theirs.

Anyone who reads my articles knows that I am all for being loving and giving at all stages of a relationship, but it’s important to make sure that it goes both ways.

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There would be voids if it wasn’t for you.

Voids in things to do together, voids in physical intimacy, voids in conversation.

If you are always the one who is suggesting activities, initiating physical contact, or taking care of things around the house – then you probably already realize that you’re carrying the relationship and giving too much of yourself away.

Happy, healthy relationships are a team – and like any good team, each player has their strengths which fit together like puzzle pieces with the other players to create a strong partnership. If one player doesn’t carry their weight, the team will lose.

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You jumped into commitment before they were ready.

When I met my girlfriend, I knew basically immediately that I was no longer interested in talking to any other women – but I also knew this feeling had to be mutual and we needed to let the first few dates take their course to see if the luster would last (it did, thankfully).

I’ve seen, many a time, people dive head first into a relationship with someone, swear off all other members of the opposite sex right away, and end up hurt. They think that giving their entire being to the other person will make them return the sentiment and love. It doesn’t. It needs to come naturally from both sides.

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You worry about losing them and keep trying harder.

If we begin to feel someone slowly slipping away from us, some of us may find it natural to try harder and to put more effort in to keep them around. Often times this does the exact opposite and pushes them away.

This is where it’s key for the relationship to have healthy communication. Taking guesses at what might “fix” a problem is simply a band-aid solution. If something is wrong, we need to have the maturity and discipline to discuss it, no matter how difficult it may be.

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While relationships do often take work, they shouldn’t feel like work. If your interactions with your partner are forced and don’t feel natural or fulfilling, then this is an instinct that shouldn’t be ignored.

Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t appreciate you. Value your time, your body, and most of all – your heart. Stop giving these things to people who don’t deserve them.

There will be someone who comes along and accepts you for you – if you have the discipline to only accept the love you truly deserve.

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Source:
7 Signs You’re Giving Too Much
by jamesmsama

10 SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

 

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?  Being in a toxic relationship does more harm to a person than anything else I can think of.  The effects of the abuse last long after you leave the relationship, and hopefully, if you’ve been in one of these relationships, you did leave.

The most disturbing type of abusive relationship is the emotionally controlling relationship.  Not to say that a physically abusive relationship isn’t horrible, but it is harder to recognize a bad relationship when there is no physical abuse going on.

There are several signs that indicate you are in an abusive relationship.

The top 10 signs are:

1.  Out of control outbursts.  The partner who seems to lose their cool when in a conflicting situation, but only with you.  In front of friends, family and co-workers, they can stay even-keeled in a stressful moment, but in front of you, they can’t seem to control their emotions.  The intensity of their anger is much greater than the situation would call for which makes the entire episode that much more confusing.

2.  The persuasive talker.  The partner is a skilled manipulator who can persuade you to see things in a manner that seems completely wrong deep down.  They may get you to believe that you are lucky to have them in your life.  How would you navigate through so many difficult moments without them?  Basically, they convince you that you can’t get through life without their support.

3.  The blame game.  You will find that when things are going wrong for your partner, it is never their fault, it is always your fault.  They will twist circumstances to make you the reason why they didn’t get a raise or lost a friend.  An example would be that you complained to your partner about their long hours at work and that is why they didn’t get the promotion.

4.  Pointing out faults.  If you do something that they see as wrong, even the most minor of issues, you will hear rage, blame and it never seems to end.  Let’s say you left a plate on a table.  You forgot to put it in the dishwasher.  For months you will hear about that one plate and how you live in filth or can’t take care of the most minor responsibilities.  Everything is exaggerated.  If you were to point out an issue your partner has, good luck getting something to change.  Your partner will most likely sulk and walk away, or turn the tables and point out all of your faults.

5.  Domination.  Your partner will try to control you at every turn.  That is until you get brave enough to think about leaving.  All of a sudden, the dominance is gone and you are left with a submissive partner.  Asking for forgiveness, saying how wonderful you are and begging for you to stay.  Once you fall for the act, you are right back to a partner who takes complete charge again.  This time around it will most likely be worse because they will remind you that you didn’t care enough and were going to leave them.

6.  Control and isolation.  An abusive partner will slowly control your movements until they isolate you from friends, family and co-workers.  Other people are a threat to your partner who sees those people as being able to convince you to leave the toxic relationship.  The partner will find reasons for you not to see others.  You will hear that they wish you wouldn’t see them because they don’t treat you well or they don’t like your partner.    On the other hand, they will get close to any person they feel they can manipulate.  This gives them additional reinforcement so that if you question bad behavior and talk about it with a friend, they are more likely to take your partners side saying, they could never see them acting a certain way, they obviously love you and maybe you just misunderstood them.

Watch out for the partner who will act submissive around their friends and family when you are present.  They will complain that you do the things that they are doing to you.  This is done quietly behind your back and you are left wondering why people are acting strange around you.  It is their attempt to get more people on their side and against you.  The goal is to make you feel as though no one likes you but your partner and that you are lucky to have them because you are a horrible person.

7.  Verbal put downs.  Name calling and pointing out flaws or weaknesses is not something that is done in a healthy relationship.  Another way a partner will take over is by putting themself down to take whatever is being brought up off of them and instead try to make you feel bad for the fact that they are supposedly feeling bad for themself.

8.  Lying.  You will catch your partner in the dumbest lies.  After awhile, you will no longer know what is real and what isn’t because everything is lied about no matter if it makes sense to lie or not.

9.  Jealousy.  Good relationships, success at work, looking nice in an outfit are all met with jealousy.  You might be put down for an outfit you wear as being to revealing, not flattering or questioned about why you are trying to look so nice.  Jealousy comes up whenever you seem to be doing well and are happy.  Comparison’s are always made in the abuser’s mind and no matter how much you keep things quiet, your good moments are tallied and the abuser becomes jealous that you might have more going on than they do so they knock you down.

10.  Physical abuse.  Shoving, spitting, hitting, grabbing, restraining, basically anything that draws fear in you because of a physical action is a red flag that you need to get out of a relationship.  There is no such thing as someone losing control once without it coming up sometime down the road again.

If you are brave enough to leave a toxic relationship, and I hope you are, make sure you have a plan in place.  If you feel isolated, there are several community hotlines that can help you take the next step.

I was in an abusive relationship.  It wasn’t until I was pushed to the ground and spit on with a baby in my arms that I finally grew enough courage to leave.  I called a local hotline to find out how I could safely get myself and kids out of an increasingly dangerous situation.

I was terrified to call because my phone records were being reviewed daily and the numbers I dialed were being questioned.  When I knew it was time to leave, I had become completely isolated from friends and was in a bad place with my own family.  I felt that I had no one who could help.  The place I called was Haven which is a local domestic violence help center in Oakland County, Michigan.  They walked me through scenarios and gave me advice on how to take care of myself and my kids.  It was the best thing I could have done.

My ordeal wasn’t easy and I was scared.  There was a restraining order, a lot of police involvement and weekly meetings with other mothers who had been in abusive relationships and left.

If you are in an abusive relationship, you need to know that there are people who can help.  You are worth so much more than what you are dealing with.  There are people out there who will see all the good in you and love you for who you are.

Source: http://www.searchingforthehappiness.com/10-signs-abusive-relationship/

your closest confidants will carelessly crush your potential with smiles on their faces.

May 13, 2013

An old repost.

Never let someone’s opinion of you wash away your truth.
Never sacrifice who you are or what you aspire to be because someone else sees things differently.

Sometimes even your closest confidants will carelessly crush your potential with smiles on their faces. They will discredit your ideas, exhibiting zero emotional support, and inadvertently persuade you to forget part of the person you are, along with the person you are capable of becoming.
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Don’t let weak minds convince you that you aren’t strong enough. You are.