How To Stop Overthinking – 9 Simple Habits

Not mine but worth reading.

What is holding people back from the life that they truly want to live?

I’d say that one very common and destructive thing is that they think too much.

They overthink every little problem until it becomes bigger and scarier and it actually is. Overthink positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore.

Or overanalyze and deconstruct things and so the happiness that comes from just enjoying something in the moment disappears.

Now, thinking things through can be a great thing of course. But being an overthinker can result in becoming someone who stands still in life. In becoming someone who self-sabotages the good things that happen in life.

I know. I used to overthink things a lot and it held me back in ways that weren’t fun at all.

But in the past 8 years or so I have learned how to make this issue so small that it very rarely pops up anymore. And if it does then I know what to do then to overcome it.

In this article I would like to share 9 habits that have helped me in a big, big way to become a simpler and smarter thinker and to live a happier and less fearful life.

1. Put things into a wider perspective.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of overthinking minor things in life.

So when you are thinking and thinking about something ask yourself:

Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks?

I have found that widening the perspective by using this simple question can snap me quickly out of overthinking and help me to let that situation go and focus my time and energy on something that actually does matter to me.

2. Set short time-limits for decisions.

If you do not have a time-limit for when you must make a decision and take action then you can just keep turning your thoughts around and around and view them from all angles in your mind for a very long time.

So learn to become better at making decisions and to spring into action by setting deadlines in your daily life. No matter if it is a small or bigger decision.

Here’s what have worked for me.

  • For small decisions like if should go and do the dishes, respond to an email or work out I usually give myself 30 seconds or less to make a decision.
  • For somewhat larger decisions that would have taken me days or weeks to think through in the past I use a deadline for 30 minutes or for the end of the workday.

3. Become a person of action.

When you know how to get started with taking action consistently each day then you’ll procrastinate less by overthinking.

Setting deadlines is one thing that have helped me to become much more of person of action.

Taking small steps forward and only focusing on getting one small step done at a time is another habit that have worked really well.

It works so well because you do not feel overwhelmed and so you do not want flee into procrastination. And even though you may be afraid, taking just a step is such a small thing that you do not get paralyzed in fear.

4. Realize that you cannot control everything.

Trying to think things through 50 times can be a way to try to control everything. To cover every eventuality so you do not risk making a mistake, fail or looking like a fool.

But those things are a part of living a life where you truly stretch your comfort zone. Everyone who you may admire and have lived a life that inspires you has failed. They have made mistakes.

But in most cases they have also seen these things as valuable feedback to learn from. Those things that may look negative have taught them a lot and have been invaluable to help them to grow.

So stop trying to control everything. Trying to do so simply doesn’t work because no one can see all possible scenarios in advance.

This is of course easier said than done. So do it in small steps if you like.

5. Say stop in situation where you know you cannot think straight.

Sometimes when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I have become good at catching them quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I know that when I am hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

For example, after I have eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten my hours of sleep.

It took a bit of practice to get this to work but I have gotten pretty good at postponing thinking in this way. And I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in much better and more constructive way.

6. Do not get lost in vague fears.

Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life. And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could happen if I do something.

So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty unlikely thing happens.

I have found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce.

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes of time and bit of energy and it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

7. Work out.

This might sound a bit odd.

But in my experience working out – especially with lifting weights – can help me to let go of inner tensions and worries.

It most often makes me feel more decisive and when I was more of an overthinker then it was often my go-to method of changing the headspace I was in to a more constructive one.

8. Spend more of your time in the present moment.

By being in the present moment in your everyday life rather than in the past or a possible future in your mind you can replace more and more of the time you usually spend on overthinking things with just being here right now instead.

Three ways that I often use to reconnect with the present moment are:

  • Slow down. Slow down how you do whatever you are doing right now. Move slower, talk slower or ride your bicycle more slowly for example. By doing so you become more aware of how you use your body and what is happening all around you right now.
  • Tell yourself: Now I am… I often tell myself this: Now I am X. And X could be brushing my teeth. Taking a walk in the woods. Or doing the dishes. This simple reminder helps my mind to stop wandering and brings my focus back to what is happening in this moment.
  • Disrupt and reconnect. If you feel you are getting lost in overthinking then disrupt that thought by – in your mind – shouting this to yourself : STOP! Then reconnect with the present moment by taking just 1-2 minutes to focus fully on what is going on around you. Take it all in with all your senses. Feel it, hear it, smell it, see it and sense it on your skin.

9. Spend more of your time with people who do not overthink things.

Your social environment plays a big part. And not just the people and groups close to you in real life. But also what you read, listen to and watch. The blogs, books, forums, movies, podcasts and music in your life.

So think about if there are any sources in your life – close by or further away – that encourages and tends create more overthinking in your mind. And think about what people or sources that has the opposite effect on you.

Find ways to spend more of your time and attention with the people and sources that have a positive effect on your thinking and less on the influences that tends to strengthen your overthinking habit.

Credits to: http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2013/11/20/how-to-stop-overthinking/

 

Angie Offers Sugar to Deep : Root & Map

Category Archives: Elegant Angie

Angie Offers Sugary Tea

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Don’t want to mention any dates though I hardly forget one, have just taken off all her clothes and yes you guessed it right, mine too and started wrapping rubber onto my thing which she didn’t approve of and in this discussion got discharged outside her spot. Well, time passed and with some more attempts discharges were at proper time and place and everything just fell in place including my life and needless to say we stopped using rubber too.

Well, its not a soft porn as you might be thinking but how she helped in opening my life and unwrapping the rubbers in which my life was trapped for years.

I guess you need names now but I am never good with names as I am not even sure what my name is but I liked one so let you call me Deep and I am a Pakistani Hindu and she, of course don’t know her name as well, will think and let you know as the story progresses.

She was from Southeast Asia , met me in my masters and her name was Angie. That was the first time I heard this name, well you don’t want to know but the second and only Angie I know is a popular Singaporean DJ/ Model of Vietnamese descent and for sure you got it right is quite popular among guys and now whether you’re a guy or not but I hope you know well why second Angie is so popular.

Well well well, My Angie was no model but she was so much different than traditional girls, was capable of having hours long discussions on any topic and so you’re sure that she won’t bore you. The problem I had with many of the girls in my life was their inability to contain me. I used to be quite attracted to them in the starting but that’s the thing about interest that it runs towards zero even faster than a negative exponential function and with Angie or Angela, as I used to call her Angela often too, maybe because she was like an Angel to my life, I could never get bored of.

Each and every moment with her was so precious so why not to take you to the first moment with her. I was finding a discussion forum interesting those days partially due to boredom and mainly due to the fact that I used to miss my Pakistani food and we used to discuss in this forum while eating. The forum had a kind of rule that you can discuss only if you have food in your plate.

Okay, it was afternoon and it was some kind of rice based mixed crap in my plate, when I was attacked by a female voice, “Hey you”,  I ignored and tried to show that I can give some concentration to even a female voice while eating,  I mean if you have to choose between an unkown female and food, isn’t the choice too easy, I mean who will give a damn to the unknown female and a basic polite smile and saying hi is more than enough, isn’t.

“What do you think about  Che?” She uttered. Literally can’t you see, I am eating, Che is dead and it doesn’t matter what I think of him even though in reality I admire him a lot but that’s not the kind of discussion I would like to have with a girl. I mean, literally, first I need to take a  X-ray of her. Anyways X-ray was not available so I replied that I consider Che to be a real solid person and maybe even one of the best people ever in politics and that hit her off. She introduced herself and I thought okay maybe time to score a new girl.

This was excerpt of the series from the story wrapped-in-rubber while the hyperlinks and images on the top of this post  redirects you to the page where I am trying to keep some tracks of Angie’s and  Deep’s love. Alternatively if you want to navigate the series as soon as it updates or rather if you like the snippets below,  please find it all under the category Category Archives: Elegant Angie.

Some snippets from the story are here for quick viewing:

Deep Proposes to Angie

I remember how many times, I fought with you and said the day I will get my girl, I am gonna leave you immediately and now after meeting my girl at least thrice, my reaction every time was only that I had to end with them asap. I never told us that I love you rather I never even thought about it and I still do not want to think about it but I just want to thank you from every corner of my heart for being with me and guiding me all the times. I don’t know if goddess exists or not but I know if she does she can’t be better than you. I just wonder when, how or will ever I tell you this?

 

Deep Proposes to Angie

Check this out this guy Deep must really have a nice girl friend or just he knew how to propose:

I remember how many times, I fought with you and said the day I will get my girl, I am gonna leave you immediately and now after meeting my girl at least thrice, my reaction every time was only that I had to end with them asap. I never told us that I love you rather I never even thought about it and I still do not want to think about it but I just want to thank you from every corner of my heart for being with me and guiding me all the times. I don’t know if goddess exists or not but I know if she does she can’t be better than you. I just wonder when, how or will ever I tell you this?

Thanks for loving me Angie

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I’ll be forever thankful baby
You’re the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You’re the one who saw me through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ‘cuz you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I’m grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don’t know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ‘coz you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me