Sometimes you h…

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Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend.

What’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not- won’t.

Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you.

— Unknown

Keep Alive your Gut or Intuition Feeling

Have you ever been in a situation where your “gut feeling” told you one thing, but your rational mind said another? If you went with your brain rather than your intuition, there’s a good chance you ended up regretting your decision. Your intuition is the subconscious leader that many people fail to give proper respect to. But learning to listen to this internal compass could help you make better decisions and live a more fulfilling life.

“I define intuition as the subtle knowing without ever having any idea why you know it,” explains Sophy Burnham, bestselling author of The Art of Intuition, to The Huffington Post. “It’s different from thinking, it’s different from logic or analysis … It’s a knowing without knowing.”

It’s unconscious reasoning, the guidance that compels you to turn left when all signs may be pointing right. It’s often the whisper inside that can lead you to the best results possible, if you will just learn to let go and give it a chance.

Intuition is commonly associated with New Age mysticism or a metaphysical way of thinking, but it doesn’t have to be so. Our intuition was here long before anyone even gave a word to it, and it will be here long after other fad words expire.

“There is a growing body of anecdotal evidence, combined with solid research efforts, that suggests intuition is a critical aspect of how we humans interact with our environment and how, ultimately, we make many of our decisions,” said Ivy Estabrooke of the Office of Naval Research, who is investigating the power of intuition which has helped troops make important and quick decisions during combat.

Whether it’s deciding which job to take, which direction to turn when you’re lost, or how to handle a conflict in your family, intuition sometimes knows better than the rational mind. The problem is that many of us have buried that little voice so deeply within, we have a hard time hearing or feeling where it is guiding us.

The good news is that your intuition is still there, you merely have to learn to hear it again.

To better listen to your intuition, try:

1. Meditation: Spend time in silence, simply listening.
2. Commune with nature: Aim to get at least sometime outside every single day.
3. Creativity: Tap into your internal artist by drawing, writing, painting, or making music.
4. Learn to listen: In general, listen to friends, families, silence, and yourself.
5. Be body conscious: Learn to appreciate the little signs and signals from your body, when it tells you it’s tired, joyful, in need of love, or getting sick.
6. Let go: Warm up to the idea that you don’t have to control everything. Life is going to happen whether you overthink it or not. Relax.
7. Stay positive: A 2013 study in the journal Psychological Science found that being in a good mood boosted participant’s abilities to make intuitive calls in a word game. So smile!

Working on becoming more intuitive requires you to adopt healthier habits and a healthier mindset. These are things that are good for your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing, no matter your end goal. And if cultivated regularly, they could lend themselves to better decision making and more happiness overall.

Credits: Elizabeth Renter of naturalsociety.com, where this was originally featured.

विचार प्रदूषण

निस्संदेह आज प्रदूषण मानव जाति के लिए सबसे बड़ा खतरा बन चुका है। लेकिन पर्यावरण में होने वाले इस प्रदूषण के अलावा, एक और प्रदूषण हमारे चारों ओर फैल रहा है। यह है विचारों का प्रदूषण। कुछ चिकित्सा विशेषज्ञों के अनुसार, मानव मस्तिष्क में प्रति मिनट तकरीबन 40 विचार उत्पन्न होते हैं, यानी 2,400 विचार प्रति घंटा। ऐसे हालात में हमें ‘असीमित विचारों और सीमित समाधान’ जैसी असामान्य समस्या का सामना करना पड़ता है, जिसकी वजह से अधिकांश लोग तनाव और चिंता के शिकार बन जाते हैं। तो क्या इसका अर्थ यह हुआ कि हमारे विचार हमारे मन के अंदर भीड़ बढ़ा रहे हैं? क्या इस समस्या से उबरने के लिए हम केवल ऐसे विचार नहीं रख सकते, जो हमारे मन में सद्भाव व खुली जगह बनाएं? जितना हम अपने विचारों की गुणवत्ता में सुधार लाएंगे, उतना हमारे मन के भीतर शुद्धता और सौहार्द का निर्माण होगा। इस कठिन लक्ष्य को ‘राजयोग’ की सरल तकनीक से प्राप्त किया जा सकता है। राजयोग एक ऐसी क्रिया है, जो हमें न्यूनतम अव्यवस्था के साथ जीना सिखाती है, जिससे जीवन में हमें अधिक से अधिक शांति की अनुभूति होती है। यदि हम अपने मन को ‘सीमित संसाधनों के साथ’ जीने के लिए राजी कर लें, तो फिर दुनिया की कोई भी चीज हमें परेशान नहीं कर सकती।
हमारा उद्देश्य अपने विचारों को दबाने का नहीं होना चाहिए, बल्कि हमें धीरे-धीरे और स्वाभाविक रूप से अनावश्यक व व्यर्थ विचारों से खुद को मुक्त करके अपने मन को सांस लेने की खुली जगह देनी है। इस भागती-दौड़ती जिंदगी में ये सारी बातें हमें थोड़ी अवास्तविक और अपनी पहुंच से बाहर लगेंगी, परंतु हमारे विचारों की सादगी हमारे जीवन में दृढ़ता और स्पष्टता लाएगी, जिससे समाधान के अनेक दरवाजे खुल जाएंगे। तो चलिए आज से विचार प्रदूषण में कमी लाने का श्रेष्ठ कार्य करें।

Self-belief checklist

Self-confident people have indestructible self-belief, nothing can take away their feeling of self-worth and they bounce back again and again. You can feel like this. You have all that it takes to go for what you want and to ride the ups and downs that life inevitably brings. No one has a smooth trip but just think how you will feel if you don’t even give yourself a chance to get out there and give things a try!

Self-belief checklist

A person with self-belief:

• Never compares herself with others.
• Knows that she is her own woman and that nobody else can understand her as well as she can.

• Listens to helpful advice and comments but never blindly follows others’ opinions.
• Trusts her instincts and listens to her heart.
• Recognises that she will make mistakes and learns from them and moves on.

• Depends upon her own judgement and always gives herself time to work things through.
• Values rest and relaxation as much as action planning and activity.
• Knows that when she is calm and focused she will make the best decisions.

• Accepts that there will be days when her self-belief is not so strong and will wait until she is feeling more positive before committing herself to any course of action.

When you are high in self-belief you will trust your own thoughts and feelings and will be able to follow through with appropriate action.

Dance your dance while living Stress free

  1. Never stop listening to your own inner voice. – The unhappiest folks are those who care the most about what everyone else thinks – those who let everyone else drown out their own inner voice. So stand strong beside yourself. There’s great freedom in leaving others to their opinions.
  2. Never stop walking comfortably in your own shoes. – If you don’t follow the path others want you to follow they might become irritated. Don’t worry about it. Let them be. It’s their problem, not yours. So many people seem to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but have no clue how to lead their own. So focus on your inner callings and keep paving your own path. Remember that it is more useful to be aware of a single strength or weakness in yourself than to be aware of a thousand strengths and weaknesses in others.
  3. Never stop appreciating the life you’re living right now. – Stop rushing. Breathe. Be where you are. You’re where you’re supposed to be at this very moment. Every experience and step is necessary. (Read The Power of Now.)
  4. Never stop indulging in life’s little daily joys. – Notice what you love, not what you hate. Smile more. Happiness is enjoying the small things in life, all while chasing after the big ones.
  5. Never stop laughing at yourself and your life situations. – All self-misery has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in taking life too seriously. If you take everything too seriously, especially yourself, you’ll wind up fearing every new step you take. Loosen up and laugh it off if you can – especially when things don’t go as planned. People with a good sense of humor have a better sense of life. You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself and your circumstances.
  6. Never stop giving your important relationships a fair chance.– It’s impossible to find someone who will never hurt you, so go for ones worth the pain. And remember, without a little pain, joy wouldn’t feel so good.
  7. Never stop writing your own story, your own way. – When writing the story of your life, never, ever let someone else hold the pen. Make conscious choices every day that align your actions with your values and ambitions. Because the way you live each day is a sentence in the story of your life. Each day you make a choice as to whether the sentence ends with a period, a question mark, or an exclamation point

Source: Marc and Angel Hack Life

Don’t give your all when in any relationship

A healthy relationship is about give and give, not give and take. It’s not even 50/50, it’s more like 100/100. There is no “part time” relationship, you’re either in…or you’re out.

But sometimes, our judgment gets clouded. We really care about the person we’re with so we’re willing to do everything for them. The difference between being part of a solid relationship and being a doormat, is if they’re willing to do the same for you in return (without you asking for it).

So, how do you know when you’re giving too much? When is enough…enough?

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You’re smiling less when you’re alone.

The one person you can’t hide your feelings from, is yourself. It’s easy to convince those around us that we’re happy with the situation we’re in and with our partner. Of course no relationship is 100% perfect, but if you begin to feel down when they’re not around (and not because you’re missing them), this could be a sign of your true feelings coming to the surface.

The only way to lead a happy, fulfilling life is to first be true to yourself and what you want and need.

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You’re even asking yourself this question in the first place.

I recently received a message on Facebook that went as follows:

Personally I’m going through an episode where she is feeling out or dating other guys because they deserve a “chance.” But my opinion is that although I care for you and you know it without a shadow of a doubt, that if you have to continue to search after 3 months of countless dates and hanging out, then you’re not searching for me and you’re willing to forego what’s in front of you for what’s in the mystery box.

I believe that as difficult as it is for us to sift through our own emotions at times, it is an integral part of a happy life and relationship. We are the only ones who truly know what we’re feeling inside our own heart and mind, and if you find hesitancy like this poking through your consciousness, it’s probably a red flag.

Reciprocity is key, and if you’re questioning whether or not your partner is putting in their best effort, the answer is probably no.

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You feel emotionally exhausted.

A solid relationship should enhance your life, not complicate your life. You should feel energized by the other persons’ presence in your life. Inspired. Motivated. Excited.

If you are mentally and emotionally drained, you may be sacrificing your own well-being for the sake of an unhealthy relationship.

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You’re losing sight of you.

Do you feel like more of a servant than a partner? If you are always working to make your partner happy but rarely or never see the effort reciprocated, it’s very easy to lose sight of your own wants and needs because you’ve become too caught up in theirs.

Anyone who reads my articles knows that I am all for being loving and giving at all stages of a relationship, but it’s important to make sure that it goes both ways.

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There would be voids if it wasn’t for you.

Voids in things to do together, voids in physical intimacy, voids in conversation.

If you are always the one who is suggesting activities, initiating physical contact, or taking care of things around the house – then you probably already realize that you’re carrying the relationship and giving too much of yourself away.

Happy, healthy relationships are a team – and like any good team, each player has their strengths which fit together like puzzle pieces with the other players to create a strong partnership. If one player doesn’t carry their weight, the team will lose.

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You jumped into commitment before they were ready.

When I met my girlfriend, I knew basically immediately that I was no longer interested in talking to any other women – but I also knew this feeling had to be mutual and we needed to let the first few dates take their course to see if the luster would last (it did, thankfully).

I’ve seen, many a time, people dive head first into a relationship with someone, swear off all other members of the opposite sex right away, and end up hurt. They think that giving their entire being to the other person will make them return the sentiment and love. It doesn’t. It needs to come naturally from both sides.

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You worry about losing them and keep trying harder.

If we begin to feel someone slowly slipping away from us, some of us may find it natural to try harder and to put more effort in to keep them around. Often times this does the exact opposite and pushes them away.

This is where it’s key for the relationship to have healthy communication. Taking guesses at what might “fix” a problem is simply a band-aid solution. If something is wrong, we need to have the maturity and discipline to discuss it, no matter how difficult it may be.

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While relationships do often take work, they shouldn’t feel like work. If your interactions with your partner are forced and don’t feel natural or fulfilling, then this is an instinct that shouldn’t be ignored.

Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t appreciate you. Value your time, your body, and most of all – your heart. Stop giving these things to people who don’t deserve them.

There will be someone who comes along and accepts you for you – if you have the discipline to only accept the love you truly deserve.

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Source:
7 Signs You’re Giving Too Much
by jamesmsama

How To Stop Overthinking – 9 Simple Habits

Not mine but worth reading.

What is holding people back from the life that they truly want to live?

I’d say that one very common and destructive thing is that they think too much.

They overthink every little problem until it becomes bigger and scarier and it actually is. Overthink positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore.

Or overanalyze and deconstruct things and so the happiness that comes from just enjoying something in the moment disappears.

Now, thinking things through can be a great thing of course. But being an overthinker can result in becoming someone who stands still in life. In becoming someone who self-sabotages the good things that happen in life.

I know. I used to overthink things a lot and it held me back in ways that weren’t fun at all.

But in the past 8 years or so I have learned how to make this issue so small that it very rarely pops up anymore. And if it does then I know what to do then to overcome it.

In this article I would like to share 9 habits that have helped me in a big, big way to become a simpler and smarter thinker and to live a happier and less fearful life.

1. Put things into a wider perspective.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of overthinking minor things in life.

So when you are thinking and thinking about something ask yourself:

Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks?

I have found that widening the perspective by using this simple question can snap me quickly out of overthinking and help me to let that situation go and focus my time and energy on something that actually does matter to me.

2. Set short time-limits for decisions.

If you do not have a time-limit for when you must make a decision and take action then you can just keep turning your thoughts around and around and view them from all angles in your mind for a very long time.

So learn to become better at making decisions and to spring into action by setting deadlines in your daily life. No matter if it is a small or bigger decision.

Here’s what have worked for me.

  • For small decisions like if should go and do the dishes, respond to an email or work out I usually give myself 30 seconds or less to make a decision.
  • For somewhat larger decisions that would have taken me days or weeks to think through in the past I use a deadline for 30 minutes or for the end of the workday.

3. Become a person of action.

When you know how to get started with taking action consistently each day then you’ll procrastinate less by overthinking.

Setting deadlines is one thing that have helped me to become much more of person of action.

Taking small steps forward and only focusing on getting one small step done at a time is another habit that have worked really well.

It works so well because you do not feel overwhelmed and so you do not want flee into procrastination. And even though you may be afraid, taking just a step is such a small thing that you do not get paralyzed in fear.

4. Realize that you cannot control everything.

Trying to think things through 50 times can be a way to try to control everything. To cover every eventuality so you do not risk making a mistake, fail or looking like a fool.

But those things are a part of living a life where you truly stretch your comfort zone. Everyone who you may admire and have lived a life that inspires you has failed. They have made mistakes.

But in most cases they have also seen these things as valuable feedback to learn from. Those things that may look negative have taught them a lot and have been invaluable to help them to grow.

So stop trying to control everything. Trying to do so simply doesn’t work because no one can see all possible scenarios in advance.

This is of course easier said than done. So do it in small steps if you like.

5. Say stop in situation where you know you cannot think straight.

Sometimes when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I have become good at catching them quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I know that when I am hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

For example, after I have eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten my hours of sleep.

It took a bit of practice to get this to work but I have gotten pretty good at postponing thinking in this way. And I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in much better and more constructive way.

6. Do not get lost in vague fears.

Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life. And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could happen if I do something.

So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty unlikely thing happens.

I have found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce.

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes of time and bit of energy and it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

7. Work out.

This might sound a bit odd.

But in my experience working out – especially with lifting weights – can help me to let go of inner tensions and worries.

It most often makes me feel more decisive and when I was more of an overthinker then it was often my go-to method of changing the headspace I was in to a more constructive one.

8. Spend more of your time in the present moment.

By being in the present moment in your everyday life rather than in the past or a possible future in your mind you can replace more and more of the time you usually spend on overthinking things with just being here right now instead.

Three ways that I often use to reconnect with the present moment are:

  • Slow down. Slow down how you do whatever you are doing right now. Move slower, talk slower or ride your bicycle more slowly for example. By doing so you become more aware of how you use your body and what is happening all around you right now.
  • Tell yourself: Now I am… I often tell myself this: Now I am X. And X could be brushing my teeth. Taking a walk in the woods. Or doing the dishes. This simple reminder helps my mind to stop wandering and brings my focus back to what is happening in this moment.
  • Disrupt and reconnect. If you feel you are getting lost in overthinking then disrupt that thought by – in your mind – shouting this to yourself : STOP! Then reconnect with the present moment by taking just 1-2 minutes to focus fully on what is going on around you. Take it all in with all your senses. Feel it, hear it, smell it, see it and sense it on your skin.

9. Spend more of your time with people who do not overthink things.

Your social environment plays a big part. And not just the people and groups close to you in real life. But also what you read, listen to and watch. The blogs, books, forums, movies, podcasts and music in your life.

So think about if there are any sources in your life – close by or further away – that encourages and tends create more overthinking in your mind. And think about what people or sources that has the opposite effect on you.

Find ways to spend more of your time and attention with the people and sources that have a positive effect on your thinking and less on the influences that tends to strengthen your overthinking habit.

Credits to: http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2013/11/20/how-to-stop-overthinking/